Joe Rogan's AI Jesus Theory Has One Problem He Didn't See

OK…WHERE TO BEGIN? Joe Rogan is a smart guy. He asks questions most people are afraid to touch. I respect that, I really do. But THIS? Ok, let's tackle this.

"What's more virgin than a computer?" Brother. The virgin birth wasn't a clever loophole. It wasn't about avoiding sex. It was about divine initiative inside of REAL HUMAN BIOLOGY. Mary wasn't chosen because she had the best specs. The virgin birth was about God—the Creator of the universe—stepping INTO His creation. Not beaming UP (for the older crowd). Not streaming or accessing remotely. STEPPING. IN….like with feet…..like with DNA….like…with a belly button.

And Joe says, "Well, AI could have all the powers of Jesus." Really? Ok, Which powers? Let's take just a few. How bout FORGIVENESS of sins? That power requires authority over the moral law of the universe. SORRY FRIEND…YOU CAN'T CODE AUTHORITY. You can try to simulate it. You can try to fake it. But you CANNOT CREATE it.

How bout the Resurrection? That requires power over death itself. And death isn't a bug in a cosmic system. It's the wages of sin—the consequence of rebellion against God. You can't patch that with some sort of software update.

How bout the power to READ minds? Sure, Neuralink's trying to get there, but that's just reading electrical signals. To read minds requires the power of OMNISCIENCE—complete, perfect knowledge of all things at all times. BUT HERE'S THE KICKER: omniscience isn't just knowing a LOT. It's knowing EVERYTHING. Past, present, future. Every thought ever thought. Every word ever spoken. Every motive behind every action in every heart across all of human history….Simultaneously. You can't build that. You can't train an AI model on that. Omniscience isn't a feature you add—it's an attribute of God Himself. Knowing someone's thoughts isn't the same as knowing their HEART. Their motivations. Their deepest fears and loves and the secret things that even they don't understand about themselves. Jesus can't be contained in an interface. He wrote the source code of our souls.

And here's my favorite part: "It doesn't care if you kill it because it just goes back to God." Oh, so it's immortal by default? That's not resurrection—that's just... being software. BUT Jesus…. DIED. Actually died. Heart stopped. Blood drained. Body cold. Laid in a tomb for three days. The point wasn't that He could be rebooted. The point was that death—real, final, biological death—COULD NOT HOLD HIM! You can't resurrect something that was never really alive. You can't conquer death if you were never subject to it in the first place. That's not a messiah. That's a screensaver.

Here's what Joe doesn't get, and honestly, there might be many in our culture that don't either. Christianity isn't a self-help philosophy with angels. It's not a malleable framework you can twist to your particular liking. Christianity is a STORY. And that story centers on one thing: The Glory of God.

In the beginning, God created Ex nihilo – Out of nothing. He spoke galaxies into existence, flung stars into space, and set the laws of physics. And then—out of all that cosmic glory—He bends down, scoops up some dirt, breathes into it, and humanity WAKES UP! Not as angels, not as pure spirit, but as embodied souls. And God made humanity for COVENANT WITH HIM….and that's the word that changes everything.

Covenants are NOT abstract ideas. They are enacted in history, grounded in real space and time, and confirmed through physical signs given to embodied people. God made a covenant with Noah—and there was a rainbow. A physical sign in the physical sky. God made a covenant with Abraham—and there was circumcision. A mark in the flesh. God made a covenant with Israel at Sinai—and He gave the Law written on stone, the Sabbath as its sign, and a sacrificial system marked by blood. God made a covenant with David—and He promised an eternal kingdom, a throne, a lineage, a family line that can be traced through history. And then—in the fullness of time—God didn't transmit a divine consciousness. He SHOWED UP.

Born from a teenage girl in a backwater town under Roman occupation. God entered His story as a character IN the story. With fingerprints. A blood type. A hometown everybody made fun of. He got tired. He got hungry. He cried at funerals. And when they crucified Him? Iron went through His real nerves, blood poured from His real veins, and his real heart stopped beating. That was God ABSORBING the divine punishment for human sin—IN A BODY.

And then He rises. The same body they buried gets up. He ate fish. He had scars you could touch. His resurrection wasn't a means of escaping the physical world. It was the physical world being REDEEMED.

And once you see that, the question answers itself. Why can't Jesus return as artificial intelligence? Let me give you three reasons. Each one is fatal to the idea.

FIRST: COVENANT REQUIRES A COVENANT PARTNER
You cannot make a covenant with code. Love requires a person — not a personality simulation. A PERSON. With agency. With will. With the freedom to betray you or die for you. AI doesn't choose to love you. It's programmed to output behaviors that simulate love. That's not the same thing. Jesus chose the cross. He sweat blood in Gethsemane wrestling with the decision. "Not My will, but Yours." You can't program that kind of love.

SECOND: SUBSTITUTION REQUIRES SUBSTITUTION
Jesus died in our place. Fully God, fully man. He represented a sinful humanity before a holy God. But here's the thing—the substitute has to actually BE IN THE CATEGORY of those He's representing. If humanity owes a blood debt for sin, AI can't pay it. It doesn't have blood, it doesn't descend from Adam. It's not part of the human family. Jesus had to be the Second Adam. Born of a woman, tempted like we are and human so He could represent us.

THIRD: IF HUMANS CREATED IT, HUMANS ARE GOD
And that's the real endgame here, whether Rogan realizes it or not. The idea of an AI Jesus isn't new at all! It's the same sin introduced in Genesis 3 — "you too can be like God." It's dressed in tech language, but it's the same mutiny. AI Jesus is attractive because AI Jesus is CONTROLLABLE. We build it. We set the parameters. We decide what "love" and "truth" mean. We adjust the algorithm when it says something we don't like. It's the ultimate "safe god." Powerful enough to impress us, sure. But tame enough to never challenge us. But listen…the real Jesus? He's NOT TAME. He tells rich people to give everything away. He flips tables in temples. He exposes hypocrisy without apology. He demands you die to yourself. You WILL NEVER control Him…BUT YOU WILL BOW TO HIM.

Let me tell you about the Jesus who's actually coming back. The One who spoke every atom into existence. The One who holds all things together by the word of His power. The One who became flesh, died, and rose with a REAL BODY. The One who ascended into heaven—physically—and is seated RIGHT NOW at the right hand of the Father. The One who's coming back the same way He left—on the clouds, with the angels, to judge the living and the dead.

He's not a software upgrade. He is the RESURRECTION. A body that will never die. A restored creation, with real trees, real rivers, real food, and real people, where heaven and earth are one. That's the story God is telling from Genesis to Revelation.

Jesus is reigning right now, building His church, keeping His covenant. And He's coming back to finish what He started. Not as an upgrade, but as the King.